Acknowledging parenthood of your child in the Netherlands

Are you having a child, and you and the birth mother are not married or in a civil partnership? You, as a father or the female partner of a birth mother, can become a legal parent if you officially acknowledge parenthood of that child. This can be done free of charge through your municipality.

Acknowledging parenthood of a child as the father

Are you a man who is married or formed a civil partnership with the birth mother of your child? Then you do not need to formally acknowledge parenthood of the child, as you will automatically be recorded as the legal father. This applies even if you are not the biological father of the child.

Acknowledging parenthood of a child as the female partner of the birth mother

Are you a woman who is married to, or in a civil partnership with, the birth mother? If so, you do not need to acknowledge parenthood if you used an anonymous sperm donor for the pregnancy. As the female partner of the birth mother, you will automatically be considered the child’s mother. However, you do need to prove, when registering the birth, that the sperm donor is not known to you.

Did you use a sperm donor who is known to you? If so, the female partner of the birth mother will not automatically be considered the child’s mother. In this case, you will have to acknowledge parenthood of the child yourself. This is the case even if you are married to, or in a civil partnership with, the birth mother.

Acknowledging parenthood of a child is subject to the following conditions:

you are at least 16 years old;
the birth mother has given her consent if the child is under the age of 16;
you cannot acknowledge parenthood of a child if you are not permitted to marry the birth mother, for example because you are a close blood relative of hers;
there must not already be 2 parents. Has the child been adopted by the birth mother’s female partner, for example? If so, the biological father will no longer be able to acknowledge parenthood of that child.
Have you been placed under a conservatorship (in Dutch) on account of your physical or mental state? If so, you will first need to obtain authorisation from the regional court.

Acknowledging parenthood of a child during pregnancy

You can acknowledge parenthood of a child in any municipality in the Netherlands if they have not yet been born. This is referred to as acknowledging parenthood of an unborn child (erkenning van de ongeboren vrucht).

Will the expectant mother not be present when you acknowledge parenthood of your child? If so, she must give her written consent to the acknowledgement.

Is your partner expecting a multiple birth? If so, the acknowledgement applies to all the children with whom your partner is pregnant at that time.

Acknowledging parenthood of a child when registering the birth

You can acknowledge parenthood when you register the birth. You register the birth in the municipality where the child was born.

Will the expectant mother not be present when you acknowledge parenthood? If so, she must give her written consent to the official recognition.

Acknowledging parenthood of a child after registration of the birth

You can also acknowledge parenthood of a child if they are already older, or even an adult. You can do this in any municipality in the Netherlands.

Is your child over the age of 12? If so, you will need written consent from the child and their birth mother. If the child is over the age of 16, only the child’s consent is required.

You must acknowledge parenthood of each child separately. This includes a second or subsequent child from a relationship. This does not happen automatically, unless you were married or in a civil partnership prior to the birth.
When acknowledging parenthood of the first child officially, you choose whose surname the child will have: the birth mother’s or yours. All subsequent children from the same relationship are automatically given the same surname as the first child.

Was the child legally acknowledged before 1 January 2023? Then the parents do have to apply to the district court for joint custody.
When acknowledging a child if not married or in a civil partnership with the birth mother after 1 January 2023 then you will automatically be granted joint custody (in Dutch). There are exceptions (in Dutch) such as when acknowledging the child you both declare that the birth mother is granted sole custody.

This is how it works for you

Your (future) place of residence falls under:

Municipality of Helmond

Here is some information from your municipality.

Acknowledging parenthood of your child in the Netherlands

Are you married or in a registered partnership with the child's mother? Then you will automatically become the legal parent. Otherwise, you can acknowledge the child at the municipality. You will then still become the legal parent. You also have to acknowledge each subsequent child separately. This does not happen automatically. You can acknowledge a child before the birth, at the time of the birth registration or after the birth registration. Do you want to acknowledge your child during the declaration of birth? Then go to the municipality where your child was born.

Are you not married or in a registered partnership? Then the child will automatically be given the biological mother's name when the birth is registered. If the father or duo mother acknowledges the child, you can choose which surname the child will be given. In this case, both parents must be present at the recognition. We therefore advise you to register the recognition and choice of name before the birth. The surname you choose for the first child also becomes the surname of subsequent children from the same relationship.

If you recognise a child before 1 January 2023, you do not have parental authority. Without parental authority, you cannot decide anything for your child. You can apply for parental custody via the website Rechtspraak.nl.

If you recognise a child after 1 January 2023, you (usually) also have parental authority. Do you want only the mother to have parental authority and not the acknowledger? Then come together to the Stadswinkel to make a declaration that only the mother has parental authority.

Extra information for lesbian couples:

Is the sperm donor known? Then the co-mother or sperm donor can acknowledge the child. The mother giving birth decides which of the 2 can acknowledge the child.
Are you married or in a registered partnership? And is the sperm donor unknown? Then recognition is not necessary. When registering the birth, do bring a statement from the Donor Data Foundation to prove that the sperm donor is unknown.

Form consent acknowledgement before birth-(PDF, in Dutch).

Form consent recognition after birth-(PDF, in Dutch).

To recognise a child and choose a surname, you go to the municipality in person. To make the declaration that only mother has custody, you will go to the municipality in person. Do you acknowledge the child when registering its birth? Then go to the municipality where the child was born. Do you recognise the child before the birth or after the declaration of birth? Then you can go to any municipality in the Netherlands.

This is how you recognise a child:

You come to the municipality.
Do you want to choose a surname when acknowledging your first child? Or do you want only the mother to have custody of the child? In these cases, the mother must also be present at the recognition. As parents, you may choose which surname your first child will have: your surname or that of your partner. When choosing the surname, both of you must be present.
You bring with you to the municipality:
a valid identity document of yourself;
a valid identity document of the mother;
written consent of the mother for recognition, if she is not present;
written consent for the recognition of the child, if the child is over 12 years old.

Make a digital appointment here.

Please note: Please contact us in advance by telephone in the following cases:

If you or the other parent are not Dutch nationals. We will then need additional foreign documents.
If the child was born and acknowledged abroad. You must report this to the municipality so that we can adjust the details in the Basisregistratie Personen (BRP). We need the original deed from abroad with valid legalisation stamps or apostille stamps from the Dutch embassy or consulate from the country concerned.
If the recognition concerns lesbian parenthood. This appointment takes longer than the standard appointment time.

Official acknowledgement and choice of surname are free of charge.
You can apply for an akte van erkenning (acknowledgement of parenthood certificate) in the municipality where the acknowledgment took place. A copy or extract from the civil status records costs: € 15,70. You pay this at the time of application.

The acknowledgement cannot always be processed immediately. This depends on the personal situation of the child and the person acknowledging the child. For example, acknowledgement takes longer if the child was born before 1985 or if the person having the child officially recognised does not hold Dutch citizenship.

Do you disagree with the municipality's decision? Then lodge an appeal with the court. Does the municipality not include your child's name in the Key Register of Persons (BRP)? Then submit a notice of objection to the municipality within 6 weeks.

Information on acknowledgement from Rijksoverheid.nl